The Talk
by Beatifulrobot
Summary: Molly and Arthur Weasley decided it's time for the dreaded "Talk" with some of their children, But is it too late ? Oneshot there may be potential for a sequel not sure yet. Rated M just to be safe.


**AN: I'm sure at some point we've all had some form of the "Talk" Ha **

**For the purpose of this story there are no charms/spells for contraception. I know it was never in the books so I'm continuing with that notion. Enjoy and please review.**

"Ron do you know what it is about" Ginny asked pouring herself and Harry a glass of orange juice he shrugged shoving another piece of toast in his mouth. "Helpful as ever" she said sitting down at the table looking at her brother and shaking her head in disgust. He swallowed

"All I know is mum said her and dad want to talk to us both after breakfast" Ron replied as Hermione came into the kitchen her hair ruffled and still in her PJs. Ron loved how comfortable she had gotten before she used to get dressed properly before shed even come downstairs now she would just come down in her nightclothes and think nothing off it.

She had been staying there ever since Voldemort's demise which had been 3 months ago and the only time she hadn't been at the burrow was when she went to find her parents in Australia.

"Morning Gorgeous" he said as she walked over to the chair next to him smiling and rubbing her eyes.

"Good morning" she said sitting down next to him and softly kissing him on his cheek

"Just so you know, It's not just you two they want to talk to" Harry said Ginny looked confused whilst Ron turned to Hermione and kissed her properly on the lips

"What do you mean?" She said ignoring her brother and his girlfriend who were still kissing softly at the breakfast table

"She wants to talk to me and Hermione as well" Harry said "Isn't that right Hermione..." He waited for a response then looked at Ginny who shook her head again finishing her breakfast "Oi !" He shouted Hermione broke away from Ron

"Sorry" She said sheepishly pouring herself a glass or juice

"Well" Harry said staring at Hermione she looked back at him baffled

"Molly wants to speak to us as well as these two" Harry said nodding towards Ron and Ginny who looked even more intrigued

"She does actually" Hermione Said taking a sip of juice and catching Ron's look

"What the bloody hell for?" Ron said picking up another piece of toast Ginny looked at him

"You seriously cannot be eating another piece of toast" She said disgusted Ron looked at her and bit the toast dramatically. Hermione laughed to herself, Ginny looked at her with an eyebrow raised

"How can you date that pig?" She asked repulsed by her brother's greediness she then had to duck as a piece of toast flew over her head

"Seriously though, why do you think Mum and Dad want to talk to us?" Ron said concerned

"Who knows?" She got up from the table "Let's go and get this over with now then shall we" She pulled Harry up off his chair Ron sighed as Hermione got up as well

"Can we at least finish our breakfast first?"

"Right" Arthur Weasley began "So the reason we wanted to speak to you all is." He took a pause, he was sat awkwardly next to his wife who has her hands neatly in her lap Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny were sat in a line opposite them on the sofa.

"Come on Dad spit it out" Ron said anxiously, His parents rarely ever made a big deal to speak to them unless it was something serious

"We realise this a bit late and we probably should have spoken to you about this sooner" Molly began the four teenagers looked equally puzzled

"We are so pleased you and Hermione have finally got together Ron and Ginny your dream of being with Harry finally came true" Ginny's face went a shade of red whilst Ron was stifling a laugh

"What your father is trying to say is that whilst we know you're all very sensible and responsible, you are just like any other couples and you're obviously are going to have urges" Molly said awkwardly

"Uh oh" Ron said gulping he had an idea where this was going and he was praying he was wrong he had already had a similar awkward conversation with Fred and George years ago which did NOT go well and ended with Ron being more embarrassed then he had ever been in his life. There was a sudden crash and a loud "OW" Moments later an angry looking George appeared in the living room

"Why was there a piece of toast on the floor for crying out loud?" He exclaimed Ginny, Harry and Hermione all turned to Ron who tried to look nonchalant

"Why don't you ask Ron?" Ginny said smugly

"George dear could you come back later we are having a little discussion" Molly said softly George sighed

"Don't mind me then" He said put out "I only just flew across the kitchen on this thing" he threw the toast at Ron it hit him square on the head Ginny sniggered

"HA!" She shouted

"Oi" Cried Ron picking up the bread getting ready to throw it again

"Don't you dare Ron Weasley go and put that in the bin at once" His mother snapped Ron sighed getting up he walked into the kitchen he looked behind him to make sure no one was listening

"George you HAVE to help" He hissed George looked at him

"Help what exactly" he said fascinated by Ron's desperation

"Mum and Dad are going to have a sex talk with us" Ron said George's face lit up

"Excellent" he said

"Please George pretend you've really hurt yourself or something, I'll do anything" Ron begged George just grinned and shook his head

"RONALD HURRY UP" A voice called from the living room George chuckled

"You better go Ronald, you're in for one hell of a lesson. I'd better go and get some extendable ears This is too good to miss"

"Don't you dare" he said darkly to his brother and left the kitchen

He sat down next to Hermione who smiled at him slightly he wanted to smile back but he wasn't looking forward to what was coming next

"So back to the urges we were talking about" Molly began and then stopped looking at her husband

"We had this conversation with your brothers a long time ago now, we were going to have it with you but"

Ginny cut him off

"You just assumed, like most of us that Ron wouldn't need it" She joked nudging Harry expecting him to laugh, Ron gave his sister a dark look

"Very funny Ginny. Don't suppose you remember a girlfriend of mine called Lavender? We could easily have" He stopped catching the look on his girlfriend's face

"Who could forget her" Ginny said shuddering "She was all over you, God knows why"

"Lav obviously has good taste" Ron said

"Lav?" Hermione said her eye brows raised Ron looked at her

"What? She obviously did otherwise what are you doing with me?" He said grinning as Hermione poked him playfully in the stomach

"I bet she asks herself that question everyday" Ginny smirked

Harry rolled his eyes still trying to rack his brains so he could get out of this very uncomfortable situation he was contemplating fake sickness to make a quick exit only that wouldn't help his friends make their escape

"You're one to talk anyway Ginny. After the way you were with Dean Please" Ron continued as his parents both took a heavy sigh as their two children began bickering about each other's old flames if they could even be called that. Their current partners both looked rather irritated at the subject of the conversation particularly Hermione she looked down at her watch then snapped

"Can you both shut up ! You're talking about your exes and who was worse? I mean what has it got to do with anything? It's like me and Harry arguing over Viktor and Cho for god's sake" Ginny looked away in disgust when Cho's name was mentioned

"Don't even get me started on Viktor" Ron said practically spitting the name Viktor Hermione stared at him

"What was wrong with him exactly again Ron? Oh yes you couldn't stand him because he asked me to the ball first" She said

"You didn't even give me a chance I was going to ask you and not just for a last resort" Ron stated Hermione looked away unconvinced

"Are you finished?" Molly said bewildered by the whole conversation her husband took more control

"Look we just want to make sure you are aware of things" Arthur said looking at his children Ginny began to shake her head slowly, Ron put his head in his hands The arguing had distracted him from the main point in hand.

"Dad"

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but it has to be said" he cut Ginny off "After all we are all grown-ups here" Arthur continued he cleared his throat and looked at his wife

"In case you haven't guessed we are talking about Contraception" he said unnecessarily as his two children had guessed that from the moment he mentioned the word "Urges"

"There aren't Wizard spell's for everything you know" Molly said trying to make a joke out of the whole situation, It didn't work the whole situation was still awkward as hell.

Arthur Weasley cleared his throat once more as Harry dared look at his Girlfriend's face, she was now pale white, looking like she wanted to kill her father. He looked at Ron who was now sitting upright again scowling and Hermione who was just staring straight ahead She seemed the most calm about the situation, Then again she was the most calm about most situations

"Now erm there are lots of different types you can use" Arthur began, Molly nodded at her two children who wished the ground would swallow them up, and Hermione bit her lip

"Dad come on" Ginny started "We're all a little too old for this conversation to be honest we know about this stuff"

"It's not just knowing about what to use it's how to use it Ginny darling" Molly said Ginny put her palm to her face after shooting Harry a "do something "look

"Erm" Harry cleared his throat "I Think we could probably figure it out ourselves" He said awkwardly gaining a look from Arthur that made him very nervous "When the time comes of course… Which shall be in the very distant future" he said Ginny stared at him appalled

"Is that the best you could do?" She said appalled turning and looking at her brother "Ron"

"Not to be rude or anything but you two trying to tell us about contraception is a bit of a joke right? I mean you had 7 kids in 9 years, to listen to your advice would be foolish" Ron said directly, earning a slap across the cheek from his mother. Hermione, Ginny and Harry all jumped as her hand bounced of his face

"Watch your mouth young man" She said "No amount of rudeness is going to get you out of this" Molly continued Ron rubbed his cheek not sure whether to laugh or cry

"Anyway me and your mother had sex for many years without pregnancy before Bill came along!"

"Yeah Dad we really don't want to know that" Ginny said annoyed at the uselessness of her boyfriend and her brother she looked at Hermione who was now looking down at her lap probably just as humiliated as her.

"You're right you don't need to know about that, What you need to know is that whilst me and your mother don't particularly want this conversation to be relevant to anything that you kids do, It probably will be soon and we want you to be able to make the correct choices" Arthur said nodding he went into his pocket and took out something which made his daughter cry out

"Oh GOD NO!" Mortified Ginny turned and looked at Ron then Hermione who now had a smirk on her face

"What on earth have you got that for?" Ron said outraged he looked at Harry who was clearly trying to hold it all in and not burst out laughing

"Well I was going to show you h-"

"OKAY" Hermione said her eyes wide "That's enough" She had heard and seen just about enough this whole situation was way too awkward for her. She turned to Ron "Ron I apologize for this in advance" Her voice sounded nervous Ron shot her a look "_She wouldn'__t_" he thought

"Mione" he said unsure of what she was about to do, She took a deep breath

"Whilst we appreciate this very educational" She paused "Errrrrrm moment you have going on here Arthur, I just don't think it's" She stopped again and looked ahead at the two adults who clearly weren't ready for it to be over yet "Needed" she then looked at Harry and Ginny who watched her she took a quick look at Ron who was already cringing

"It will be one day Hermione" Molly said softly Hermione gulped

"It really won't be" She said delicately, not wanting to start an argument with her boyfriend's Mother who had been so welcoming to her over the past few months. Hermione was not so sure she'd be so welcome after this

"Basically we don't want to hear this Mum" Ron said butting in

"Don't interrupt me Ron" Hermione snapped

"Well you're going to Ron" His Mother said "And please don't say that it's not needed because it really is-"

"IT'S NOT" Ron and Hermione both shouted out at the same time they looked at each other in unison then back at Arthur and Molly who were clearly exasperated at this point Ginny and Harry watched in silence

"Why don't you explain to us why you think you don't need to be a part of this then" Arthur said calmly Ron took a breath ready to answer him but before he could open his mouth Hermione beat him to it

"Because Ron and I have been having sex for weeks now and I haven't got pregnant yet" She said bluntly

"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed "Wha-" He couldn't even finish he was so shocked His mother looked back at him speechless his father too, Harry was astonished Ginny turned to him

"Did you know about this" She asked

"No I didn't actually" He said rather peeved that Ron hadn't told him

"You didn't tell Harry?" Hermione said surprised

"You didn't tell Ginny?" Ron replied back

"Well she's not exactly going to want to hear all the dirty details of her brother's sex life is she" She began then stopped realising who was still in the room

"Yeah my parents don't need to hear about it either FYI" he said Hermione tutted

"Look it just came out Ronald" She looked at His parents "I'm sorry" she apologized

Molly was still speechless Arthur took a deep breath

"I guess we should have done this sooner" Arthur said his eyebrows raised looking at his son and his girlfriend

"It would probably have been just as horrendous then as well" Ginny mumbled still taken aback by the fact that Ron and Hermione have "done it"

"Sorry" Hermione muttered again Molly gave her half a smile still shell shocked that her youngest son was no longer a virgin

"You don't have to keep apologizing Hermione dear it's just a shock I mean you two have only been together a few months we didn't expect this … So soon" She said Ron shrugged not knowing what to say

"Neither did we, it's just after everything we'd been through together, me and Ron just felt like the time was right" Hermione said Ron nodded slowly

"No regrets" He said softly taking Hermione's hand she smiled looking down

There was a silence one which was full of awkward looks between the six of them it was ended with

"Well… In that case Ron and Hermione I guess you don't need to be here" Arthur said Ginny and Harry both looked outraged

"But just because we know about you two it doesn't mean we condone it OR want to hear it" Molly said "Off you go" Hermione and Ron practically fell over each other trying to get out of the living room leaving a fuming Ginny and anxious looking Harry.

Ron and Hermione ran into the back garden both in hysterics

"Can you believe that I don't think there has ever been a more cringe worthy situation in my life?" Hermione laughed and sat on top of a picnic table that they had shared many moments over during the summer her legs were dangling off the edge. Ron breathed out deeply, delighted to be free from the torture of that conversation "I thought your Mother was going to kill me at one point Ron" She breathed holding her side after laughing so much

"Not gonna lie Mione I was ready to have a right go at you for telling my parents but you got us out of a right hole" he said sitting down in front of her on chair She looked down at him

"Were you now?" She said her head on one side biting her lip, Ron tucked himself in on his chair and then pulled her off the table on to his lap she giggled putting her arms around his neck

"I was but now I'm thinking we should try and get Harry and Ginny out of there" He said feeling sorry for his friend although not so much for his sister

"Hmmmm" Hermione said her hands in his hair "Or… We could prove to your parents that we don't need to be in that room" She had a sly smile on her face one Ron knew all too well

"Hmmmmm" He paused then stood up pulling Hermione up with him her legs wrapped around his waist "Let's go and make the correct choices" he growled.


End file.
